Why do people not listen when I talk? The arc of tension

Do you know the movie ‚Super Size Me‘? About that guy who makes an experiment on himself and only eats McDonald’s products for 30 days. I am convinced that every single person who has viewed that movie already knew what the conclusions would be: the guy gains weight, feels tired and unhappy, is more than unhealthy. So everybody who watched that movie already knew what it was about and how it was going to end – still, a lot of people have watched it.

Which raises an interesting question: why did all the people take the time to watch a 100 min. movie, if they could already figure how it was going to end? It was definitely not the ending that they were interested in, as they could figure it out beforehand. It was not the quality of the story, or the special effects, as the movie has been kept really simple – simple plot, simple filming. It wasn’t the characters or their complexity, as it is a one man story. So what was it then?

I believe that our attention is only kept through the arc of tension that is being created by a narrator. There are many kinds of tension. It might be raising fear in a thriller. It could be anger in a revenge action tale. The tension could be pleasant rising anticipation of a pleasure to come. Or simple uncertainty, not necessarily positive or negative. But in every good story, you need to create the tension. And the creation of an arc of tension is not only necessary when we talk about a movie, or a book. If you want to raise some interest for your person and your stories, you need to create the arc of tension in everything you say.

People who get to have more ‘listeners’ do not necessarily tell the better stories. They just tell them a better way! Imagine you went out last night and went to the movies. There you bought yourself a popcorn and went in to take your seat. Of course you arrived a bit too late, because that annoying neighbor of yours blocked your car again with his oh so old van. In the end, you were just happy that you made it to the cinema and also got to buy some popcorn and a metal hammer for your neighbors’ van J. Well, as it was already dark in the cinema when you arrived, you slowly tried to make your way to the seats. Aaaaand, gravity stroke again…there you had it, your popcorn all over the man who looked like grumpy cat anyway. No need to explain that it was not the best movie night you have had and Mr. Grumpy was loud enough when explaining to you that besides being clumsy, you are also late and you probably have a hard way getting through life with this attitude.

Now, maybe the above is not the best example of a captivating story but the point is that every story can be told in different ways. Imagine you would have told the story this way: I went yesterday to the movies and spilled my popcorn all over an annoying man who gave me a hard time. This only happened because I arrived so late. Do you know why?

Ahm..no, and by now probably no one cares why you arrived late or what happened next. And your ‘listeners’ have already found a new topic to talk about. Not because your story is not funny or interesting, but because you have created zero tension.

Just like in the movie, people can imagine the ending, but it is how you take them to that ending.

The same applies to presentations – if you put all your main points on the first 2 slides, no one will want to listen through, as you have already disclosed the essential. Always keep in mind that everyone is in a hurry nowadays and if you give them the essentials in the first minute, they will most probably not spend the second one listening to what you have to say. 

The definition explains it best: arc of tension = the self-imposed delay between the onset of desire and its eventual fulfillment